I wasn't sure if I wanted to express the thoughts and feelings that have been swirling like a tempest within me lately. But I changed my mind when I realized it may serve some usefulness in the event that my readers wonder about the sudden lull in blog entries that only seems imminent at this point in time.
To cut a long story short, my 21-month stint as a stay-at-home-mom came to an end last month as I re-joined the workforce. I have been working full-time as a Research Associate in the field of biomedical science (just as I was before I became a mom), but only in a different University.
First things first - I tend to sit on the sidelines of the ugly mommy wars. What works for one woman might not work for another. There is no right or wrong in this struggle for 'supremacy' and I am inclined to think that every mother has her child's best interests at heart. Personally speaking, I've always known that a break from work would be a temporary thing. Being at home long-term is not a viable option because it'll never be enough for me. I cannot completely abandon that side of me that has studied/worked so hard all my life. I crave the sense of self-worth I get from working, the security of financial independence, the challenge of solving work-related problems and the stimulation of professional interaction. But when motherhood came calling, I made up my mind that come what may, I wouldn't consider getting back to work before my twins were 18 months old. I needed time to bond with my them one-on-one and build a strong foundation of love and trust. Yes, I did worry if time away from work would undermine my career but I put aside my fears and set my priorities in order. In hindsight, I'm so glad I did what felt was right to me. I can sense the impact my constant presence has had on my girls so far in terms of behavioural, emotional and intellectual growth. That was the driving force that kept the urge of my returning to work at bay and made my time at home so worthwhile.
The past few months have seen a whirlwind of activity. After my little ones turned 18 months old, I knew my self-imposed deadline was up and I had to start scouting for employment opportunities. I had turned a bit rusty by then and went about it at snail's pace, not really convinced that I would land a job immediately. But as fate would have it, I received a job offer right after my first interview (so much for all my worries). It was unexpected, thrilling and daunting all at the same time. There were so many things that needed to be sorted before I started work but by god's grace, everything fell into place in quick succession. We hired an experienced full-time domestic helper, registered the kids in a nearby playgroup and made arrangements for my in-laws to stay with us for a month during the time I commenced work in order to make the transition as smooth as possible. Subsequently, I felt much more at ease and just three months short of my children's 2nd birthday, geared up to take on my dual responsibility.