Return to India: Perspectives & Musings One Year Later

This is an honest, unfiltered and deeply personal account on moving back to my home country India after almost two decades of living abroad. This post has come about about after much reflection. I admit to feeling uncertain about sharing my sentiments on such a public platform, where anything I express can be subjected to scrutiny and judgment. But blogging has been an essential part of my life way before I even became a mother, and I have revealed so much about my journey on this platform so far. It felt insincere to gloss over such a significant life event. 

For those unfamiliar with my background, to provide additional context, it is worth mentioning that I have had a global exposure from a very early age. 

Born in Oldham, a town in Greater Manchester, I spent my early childhood in Sutton and Wolverhampton in England. When my cardiologist father was offered a job in the Middle East, our family moved to Saudi Arabia for a few years followed by Bahrain where I attended a British International school with children from different nationalities and backgrounds. After the Gulf War broke out, we moved back to England where I attended school briefly. 

My parents made the decision to permanently relocate to India when I was an eight year old with pigtails and missing teeth. They built their forever home in my beloved hometown of Mysuru in the state of Karnataka and reside there to this day. 

Even after moving to India, my siblings and I had several opportunities to travel not only within the country but also overseas during school holidays courtesy of our wanderlust parents. 

After my graduation and marriage in India, I pursued my higher education in Singapore, and worked there for more than a decade. During my time in the sunny island nation, I crossed paths with people from diverse cultures and walks of life, gaining invaluable life lessons along the way. As a young married couple, Singapore also served as an excellent base for us to travel which further ignited a spirit of adventure and fuelled personal growth.

Here's the thing - I feel like if given an opportunity to live abroad, even briefly, one ought to take it. Living abroad can bestow a more well-rounded perception of the world, can certainly improve one's career prospects, provide a higher quality of life and contribute to financial gain. However, in my opinion, these are not the sole reasons, nor the most significant. 

Growing up in India as a preteen, teen and young adult, I never realized it then, but years later observed that many Indian children from an upper-middle-class to affluent backgrounds tend to be rather entitled. This entitlement often stems from their parents taking charge of most aspects of their lives, along with the option to outsource many tasks to ease daily living. And Indian parents don't just stop with their children; most of them continue the trend of selfless devotion towards their grandchildren as well. As convenient as that may be, living in such an environment lifelong can create a cycle of dependency, hindering the discovery of one's true capabilities. 

On the other hand, residing abroad entails stepping out of one's comfort zone and out of the protective shadow of the familiar support system. This experience compels individuals to cultivate qualities of patience, independence, self-discovery, problem-solving, responsibility and flexibility. It teaches valuable life skills, builds character and bestows a profound lesson in not taking anything in life for granted. Having lived abroad for many years, my husband and I have become adept at managing our household, have become well-versed in all types of cleaning, cooking, repair, DIY projects, running a household, caring for our children, handling our careers and finances, managing our social life and pursuing our hobbies—all without an entourage of hired help. I don't know about anyone else but to me, self-reliance is priceless. Looking back, if given the chance for a do-over, I wouldn't change a thing 😊 

Now, coming to the purpose of this post - after 17 years of living in Singapore, when I revealed our plans of moving back to India to family, friends and co-workers, I was met with a variety of responses, and frankly, most of them were not positive. Even though I didn't owe anyone an explanation, I didn't have a single clear-cut answer to the question of why we wanted to move back. It was a complex sentiment to articulate and so I decided that I would answer that question through my blog and when the timing was appropriate. 

Immediately after our relocation, I fielded numerous enquiries, not only by friends and family but also strangers on social media about how I was feeling about the move. I realized that there were a lot of Indians who were in the same boat as we had been, contemplating a move back but were unsure of what to expect and hence, naturally curious. At the time, I thought it was a premature question because we were still settling into our new life and with so many things demanding our attention, I wasn't in the headspace to dissect my feelings. 

A year prior to the move, we had embarked on an extensive renovation of the first and second floors of my in-laws' 35-year old house, a project far from completion when we arrived in India. Our foremost priority was to finish and furnish the new extension according to our vision. We also had to patiently wait several weeks to receive our Singapore cargo and the unpacking process turned out to be quite time-consuming and labor-intensive. Ensuring a smooth transition for our twin daughters into their new school and planning my husband's transfer to his company's office in India were also top priorities. Then there were the unavoidable formalities that most returning Indians are familiar with - bank-related tasks, insurance, setting up bill payments, updating contact details, children's Aadhaar cards among others. We were simultaneously getting the remaining undertakings done for our house such as security system installation, home automation and landscaping. Once those were sorted, I had to face the daunting challenge of overcoming one of my greatest fears – driving in Bengaluru! Obtaining my driver's license became a necessary step in addressing this fear. And despite my decision to temporarily step back from my career, I still needed to explore potential options which has kept me on my toes for the past few months. With all this going on, reflecting on the various aspects of my life post-relocation would require time and effort. Now, more than a year into our life in India, I am ready to share my thoughts on the journey so far. 

Right off the bat, let me tell you that I am not uninformed or delusional. Yes, I am highly aware of the problems that still plague India. The population density, the pollution, the corruption, bureaucracy, nepotism, reservation, the economic inequality, the traffic, issues of women's safety, the poor sanitation, the appalling lack of civic sense among others. There is absolutely no denying that these are crucial factors when one considers the quality of life in a country. But let me also tell you that India was my home through the ages of eight to twenty-four and I genuinely love my country, even with its myriad issues. I never wanted to 'escape' from India nor did I align with the kind of NRIs (Non Resident Indians, for the uninitiated) who perpetuate the conviction of living their best life while dissing their motherland at every given opportunity. I recognize my relative privilege and acknowledge that I had a wonderful childhood in India where I lived a life of comfort, was provided with a good education and raised with upstanding values imbibed from my culture and faith. The friendships I forged in India are the ones that have withstood the test of time. Along with my upbringing, my country has shaped my identity and contributed to who I am today. Possessing fierce loyalty as a personality trait, I am not inclined to disregard this reality of my life. 

Also, it is of significance to note that India is a rapidly growing , diverse economy and a country that has age on its side (more than 65% of the population is below the age of 35). India has been transforming and these changes are not only visible and palpable but impactful as well. Anyone who cannot see that or tells you any different is either willfully ignorant or blind. I can personally attest to the fact that the India of 2024 is very different from the India of 2004. 

Please understand that this post isn't meant to throw shade on anyone's life choices or ignite any debates. There is no right or wrong path in life (unless you are involved in something illegal 😛). Each individual has different aspirations and perspectives; every family has different priorities and motivations. What works for one, may not work for the other. You can choose to disagree with everything I have said in this post and I promise I will respect that. Let's just agree on one thing - to each live our lives the way we see fit. Or as Gen Z would succinctly put it, "you do you" 😄

These are some of the reasons why we left Singapore (SG for short) and moved to India,

Recipe of the month: Palak Khichdi

Our children have completed one year of schooling in India. I can scarcely believe how quickly time has flown by!

The girls were ecstatic to find out that they had more than two months of school holidays at the end of the academic year. This is more than what they have been used to in Singapore. 

We had an incredible time over the break. As soon as the holidays began, we were delighted to play host for family. Soon after, we travelled with my parents to Japan for ten days during the cherry blossom (sakura) season. We weren't able to travel during the initial blossom forecast but by a glorious stroke of luck, for the first time in years, the sakura bloomed two weeks late, perfectly aligning with our visit! Despite the gloomy weather, we also enjoyed spectacularly clear views of Mount Fuji up close. The trip was everything I hoped it would be and more barring the crowds (note to self: do a blog post before the memories fade away 😛). After that, the girls and I went to my hometown Mysore and chilled out for close to two weeks. Close on the heels of that, the four of us embarked on a nostalgia trip to Singapore and spent a memorable ten days revisiting favourite spots, visiting familiar faces and shopping for things we realized we missed from there. We only had about a week to prepare for the new school term. Before we knew it, the holidays came to an end. The girls are back in school and we are all gradually (and grudgingly) getting back into a routine. 

Switching gears to this post, if you know me well then you will know much I love leafy greens and herbs. I use them extensively in my cooking. I love the bright fresh flavours, the vibrant color and the texture (when consumed raw). I particularly love all varieties of spinach (green, red, Malabar), fenugreek, dill, mustard greens, amaranth, spring onion, colocasia, bok choy, lettuce, cabbage, arugula, fennel, basil, mint, coriander and chives. Come to think of it, apart from kale and curly parsley, I don't think I've eaten a leafy green I didn't like! 

This is a recipe that is very close to my heart. I have been making palak khichdi (creamy spinach and lentil rice) for several years. It is a recipe that my children love because of the creamy texture and relatively mild taste. Whenever I ask them what they'd like for lunch on weekends, palak khichdi is invariably among their (many) suggestions 😀

I usually prepare palak khichdi in my instant pot, but it can easily be made in a traditional pressure cooker. I’ve provided instructions for both methods. 

When I made this dish for the very first time, I used millets and still do most of the time. However, I occasionally switch it up with rice, which I find gives the khichdi a less mushy and more defined texture compared to the porridge-like consistency obtained from millets. It all depends on your texture preference really. My children prefer the texture of millets whereas some members of the family prefer rice. 

Palak khichdi made with millets

I’ve recently begun adding a tadka (tempering) of fried garlic and sliced onions, which elevates the dish to another level. This however is completely optional and can be skipped. I like to serve this palak khichdi with a simple cucumber raita and a crunchy element like chips or mixture. 

This is a wholesome, delicious and comforting one-pot dish. You must try it if you haven't yet. 

Without further ado, here is the recipe. 

Cafe review: Falafel Jee @Church Street, Bengaluru

I love Mediterranean food. I have several favourite dishes from Levantine, Italian and Greek cuisine in particular. Focussing on the former, if you have read my recipe post on Mezze platter, you would know how much I enjoy the diverse assortment of dips, pita bread, falafel, crudites, salads, dried fruit, nut and honey based desserts among others. 

When I received an invite to checkout Falafel Jee, a new Lebanese owned Mediterranean vegetarian cafe & deli located at Church Street in Bengaluru, there were three reasons that compelled me to accept. One, given my lack of regular content in the months since my relocation to India, I was surprised that anyone was even reading my blog. Two, I have a profound appreciation for Mediterranean food as I just mentioned. Three, being a retrophile, bibliophile and foodie at heart, I need absolutely no excuse to go to Church Street! With cobblestone pathways winding through a street lined with charming buildings that whisper stories of a bygone era, bookstores galore, the aromas of artisan coffee and delectable cuisines wafting through the air, this place is at the heart of Bengaluru's vibrant culture and is a place that greatly appeals to my sensibilities. 

The small quaint eatery housed in Pavilion Mall directly across Blossoms book house boasts a great location on Church Street. Conveniently accessible, especially for those using the Bengaluru metro, it is just a short walk from MG Road station, proceeding towards the Church Street exit.

The cafe offers a selection of vegetarian Mediterranean delights. Handmade with love, the folks at Falafel Jee take pride in the transformation of carefully curated seasonal vegetables and local grains. The USP of this cafe is in-house baked pitas and preservative-free dressings

The space is clean and well-maintained. There is limited seating inside the cafe but that is understandable considering that this eatery is primarily meant for take-away. In the evenings especially, when the weather is cooler, it would be rather nice to grab a bite to eat and walk along lively Church Street and Brigade road. 

We were welcomed by the genial hostess with a basil fresh punch which was a blend of basil and arugula leaves. I like how this drink was refreshing and had just a subtle hint of sweetness which is how I prefer it. 

First we tried a falafel bowl which has a bed of millets at the bottom. On top of that went fresh spinach leaves, creamy hummus, an earthy beetroot tahini, spicy harissa and flavourful falafel. With fresh flavours and interesting textures, the dish felt wholesome, colorful and tasty at the same time. 

We then tried the falafel pita pocket with the same ingredients packed into it. If I was going for a light grab and go lunch, I would go for the bowl and if I wanted something quick but substantial, I would opt for the pita pocket. 

Recipe of the month: Badanekayi Ennegayi

I'm back with another regional speciality from my home state Karnataka 😁

Badanekayi ennegayi is a dish of stuffed eggplants (aka brinjal or aubergine) that has its origins in North Karnataka i.e. the districts of Bijapur, Dharwad, Gadag, Bellary among others. The base of this naturally vegan badanekayi ennegayi is a delectable blend of roasted peanuts, sesame seeds, onions, garlic, ginger, and dry red chilies. The eggplants are generously stuffed with this mixture and slow-cooked in a generous amount of oil until fork-tender. The eggplants absorb the myriad of flavors, resulting in a lip-smackingly delicious outcome. This dish can also be made using the local variety of green capsicum and it tastes fantastic too. 

There are other variations of similar stuffed eggplant dishes that can be attributed to other states within India. In Maharashtra this eggplant dish variant is called bharli vangi and in Andhra Pradesh this variant is known as gutti vankaya kura.

I tried badanekayi ennegayi for the first time during my childhood in Hubli when I had gone to visit my aunt. I had it with jolada rotti (jowar or sorghum bhakri) and I can still recall how much I loved it. I was bowled over by the depth of flavour and great texture which complimented the rottis perfectly. 

Having always had a fondness for eggplants, I appreciate any dish featuring this versatile vegetable. I love traditional dishes like badanekayi palya, badanekayi huli, an Udupi-speciality called mattu gulla bajji (gojju) and gulla dosa. I occasionally make baingan bhartha paired with rotis for quick weekday dinners. Mutabal or baba ganoush is an absolute must when we rustle up mezze platters at home. Roasted eggplant tastes amazing in sandwiches and salads too so I incorporate this vegetable whenever I get a chance. 

When preparing Badanekayi Ennegayi at home, my preferred pairing is with ukkarisida akki rotti, although it also goes well with rotis, chapatis or Malabar parotta. Jolada rotti is something I am yet to learn but I know that I'll get there some day. 

After fine-tuning the recipe through multiple iterations, I present my simplified rendition. I did away with aromatic spices as I found the recipe to be to my liking without them. Achieving the right balance of salty-sweet-sour-spicy is crucial for nailing the flavor profile. If you stay true to this recipe, I assure you will have a winner on your hands. Give it a try, folks! 😊

Our Trip to New Jersey & New York

 
Hello readers,

First of all, let me wish you a Happy New Year 2024. May peace, love and prosperity follow you always. 

Yes, I know things have been uncharacteristically quiet around here. The past year saw me completely swamped by our relocation from Singapore to India, leaving little room for blogging on my agenda. Embarking on a brand new year, my primary resolution is to rekindle my presence in the blogging realm. I am one of the most stubborn people I know so rest assured, you'll be hearing more from me in this space 😁

For those who have been following my journey on Instagram, you might recall our family's extensive holiday across North America last spring. The trip served as a well-deserved break, painstakingly planned over several months. While my husband and I had previously holidayed in the United States, our visit to Canada marked a first for us, and it was a maiden voyage for our twin daughters to both countries. Eager to make the most of our time there, we curated an itinerary that was packed full of places to visit and activities to do. It turned out to be one of the best holidays we have had as a family and we came back rejuvenated with a treasure trove of experiences and memories. 

Given the number of photographs in my arsenal, consolidating them into a single blog post seemed rather impractical to me. Opting for a more reader-friendly approach, I've chosen to distribute them across multiple posts. This way, I can save you from being saturated with excess content while ensuring a sustained flow of material to keep the blog going for the next few weeks 😉

The last time I was in New Jersey and New York, it was the start of winter and I loved seeing New York dressed up in white for Christmas. I was able to witness the Christmas spirit in full swing and the city's transformation into a winter wonderland. This time, our visit coincided with the onset of spring and I was delighted to see all the flowering fruit trees in different hues of pinks and snowy white set against verdant green landscapes. 

We stayed at a cousin's house and with that as our base, we blazed through our sightseeing itinerary.